maxistentialist:

Every word in this headline is funnier than the one before it.

sashaforthewin:

aphrobites:

onlytwitterpics:

culinary students, abt to cheat: i sure hope no one checks under my hat

serpentwife:

why are we still here? just to suffer? every day i get emails

closetxmoonlover:

Me: I’m strong and independent. I don’t need love to be happy!

Also me: If a tall, rich, and handsome man doesn’t walk across a field in the early morning mist to tell me that I have bewitched him body and soul soon I might have to do something drastic

inuzukahana-deactivated20210106:

inuzukahana-deactivated20210106:

Blonde hair is so romanticized and sought after and brown hair is considered plain but consider: we’ve actually got eyebrows.

mosticonicposts:

cullenfucked:

ree-duh:

1953swan:

man imagine getting an anal exam from carlisle. i know the mans a good doctor but his fingers are chilly….

Would he like??? Boil his fingers before hand???

moodboard for carlisle boiling his hands to put in your ass

certified iconic post

angelsaxis:

birdghost:

hornedbooty:

a-sadist-at-play-45:

hornedbooty:

I love….. adding unnecessary e’s to words like spicey or babey. ……. it makes the words pop

Unnecessary, redundant, sloppy, visually displeasing, and a sign of not understanding the English language. But yeah, they “pop” I guess. Just like my assumption that you arent average.

oooo!!! buzzkill syndrome, i see. a true example, what a case study.

someone is angery!!!

what a bitche